61 STEPS TO REDUCE TENSION

1, Identify the real cause of stress.

2, Events causing stress should be noted down and analyse it once in a month.

3, Your reactions to each stressful events should be recollected and compared with one another.

4, Should not give immediate responce to stressful event ,always take little time to think.

5, If any tension comes ask your inner man(Mind)for a solution,he is more intelligent than you.

6, Past is past always concentrate on future events and gather courage and willpower.

7, Neednot bother about your loss,but findout the reason for it and try to solve it.

8, Face all situations with confidence.

9, Keep faith in god and worship him.

10,Always hope for the best.

11,Always keep a positive approach.

12,Before doing any thing plan a solution to face a negative situation.

13,Should not live only for money.

14,Help the poor people .

15,Visit the sick people and give them moral support.

16,Whenever you are tensed take a deep breath and relax.

17,If you are tensed countdown from 100 to 1.

18,If any stress comes look at the beautiful picture kept on the wall.

19,Keep some flowers in the room and have a look.

20,Practise breathing exercises regularly.

21,Keep little time for yoga and meditation.

22,Aromatherapy is good to relax the mind.

23,If you are tensed make a surprise call to your old friend.

24,When you are tensed think about others who suffer from more serious problems.

25,Keep close contact with your family and share the problems with them.

26,Go for pleasure trips with the family members.

27,Avoid sedentary life,always mingle with others.

28Always approach others with a smile.

29,Laughing and sharing jokes with others will make you relaxed.

30,When you are tensed visit your close friend or relative.

31,If any stressful event comes discuss it with your intimate friend.

32,Spend little time with your kids and join their plays.

33,If you get time go for a healthy discussion on any interesting topic.

34,Always approach the people in a polite manner.

35,Maximun attempt should be made to reduce enemies.

36,Keep a regular routine for your activities.

37,Never postpone the works.

38,Sound sleep is very essential to relax your mind and body.

39,Always prefer room with fresh air.

40,Getup early in the morning.

41,After waking have a nice bath with your favourite shampoo.

42,Use some perfumes and room freshners you like.

43,Have a relaxing body massage.

44,Personal hygiene should be maintained.

45,Your health problems should be discussed with the doctor and follow his instructions.

46,Make a habit of cleaning the home and surroundings.

47,Keep sexual relations with only one partner.

48,Morning and evening walk is good to relax.

49Afternoon sleep is good but should not be a deep sleep with snoring.

50,Listen good music and go for a movie with your intimate friend.

51,Reading interesting books can reduce tension.

52,Gardening is a useful method to relax.

53,Spend little time with pet animals.

54,Engage in some games.

55,Keep some time to engage in your hobbies.

56,When you get time write some literal things like articles,poems and stories.

57,Keep a regular timing for food.

58,Take plenty of fruits and vegetables.

59,Prepare your favourite meal and have it with your family.

60,Having food from restaurants may give you a good mood.

61,Excess of drinking and smoking should be avoided.

THE ART OF CONVERSATION.

The grand object for which a gentleman exists, is to excel in company. Conversation is the mean of his distinction, the drawing-room the scene of his glory.

In company, though none are “free,” yet all are “equal.” All therefore whom you meet, should be treated with equal respect, although interest may dictate toward each different degrees of attention. It is disrespectful to the inviter to shun any of her guests. Those whom she has honoured by asking to her house, you should sanction by admitting to your acquaintance.

If you meet any one whom you have never heard of before, you may converse with him with entire propriety. The form of “introduction” is nothing more than a statement by a mutual friend that two gentlemen are by rank and manners fit acquaintances for one another. All this may be presumed from the fact, that both meet at a respectable house. This is the theory of the matter. Custom, however, requires that you should take the earliest opportunity afterwards to be regularly presented to such an one.

The great business in company is conversation. It should be studied as art. Style in conversation is as important, and as capable of cultivation as style in writing. The manner of saying things is what gives them their value.

The most important requisite for succeeding here, is constant and unfaltering attention. That which Churchill has noted as the greatest virtue on the stage, is also the most necessary in company, to be “always attentive to the business of the scene.” Your understanding should, like your person, be armed at all points. Never go into society with your mind en deshabille. It is fatal to success to be all absent or distrait. The secret of conversation has been said to consist in building upon the remark of your companion. Men of the strongest minds, who have solitary habits and bookish dispositions, rarely excel in sprightly colloquy, because they seize upon the thing itself, the subject abstractly, instead of attending to the language of other speakers, and do not cultivate verbal pleasantries and refinements. He who does otherwise gains a reputation for quickness, and pleases by showing that he has regarded the observation of others.

It is an error to suppose that conversation consists in talking. A more important thing is to listen discreetly. Mirabeau said, that to succeed in the world, it is necessary to submit to be taught many things which you understand, by persons who know nothing about them. Flattery is the smoothest path to success; and the most refined and gratifying compliment you can pay, is to listen. “The wit of conversation consists more in finding it in others,” says La Bruy,re, “than in showing a great deal yourself: he who goes from your conversation pleased with himself and his own wit, is perfectly well pleased with you. Most men had rather please than admire you, and seek less to be instructed, nay, delighted, than to be approved and applauded. The most delicate pleasure is to please another.”

It is certainly proper enough to convince others of your merits. But the highest idea which you can give a man of your own penetration, is to be thoroughly impressed with his.

Patience is a social engine. To listen, to wait, and to he wearied are the certain elements of good fortune.

If there be any foreigner present at a dinner party, or small evening party, who does not understand the language which is spoken, good breeding requires that the conversation should be carried on entirely in his language. Even among your most intimate friends, never address any one in a language not understood by all the others. It is as bad as whispering.

Never speak to any one in company about a private affair which is not understood by others, as asking how that matter is coming on, &c. In so doing you indicate your opinion that the rest are de trop. If you wish to make any such inquiries, always explain to others the business about which you inquire, if the subject admit of it.

If upon the entrance of a visitor you continue a conversation begun before, you should always explain the subject to the new-comer.

If there is any one in the company whom you do not know, be careful how you let off any epigrams or pleasant little sarcasms. You might be very witty upon halters to a man whose father had been hanged. The first requisite for successful conversation is to know your company well.

There is another precept of a kindred nature to be observed, namely, not to talk too well when you do talk. You do not raise yourself much in the opinion of another, if at the same time that you amuse him, you wound him in the nicest point, his self-love. Besides irritating vanity, a constant flow of wit is excessively fatiguing to the listeners. A witty man is an agreeable acquaintance, but a tiresome friend. “The wit of the company, next to the butt of the company,” says Mrs. Montagu, “is the meanest person in it. The great duty of conversation is to follow suit, as you do at whist: if the eldest hand plays the deuce of diamonds, let not his next neighbour dash down the king of hearts, because his hand is full of honours. I do not love to see a man of wit win all the tricks in conversation.”

In addressing any one, always look at him; and if there are several present, you will please more by directing some portion of your conversation, as an anecdote or statement, to each one individually in turn. This was the great secret of Sheridan’s charming manner. His bon-mots were not numerous.

It is indispensable for conversation to be well acquainted with the current news and the historical events of the last few years. It is not convenient to be quite so far behind the rest of the world in such matters.